Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
