Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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