Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Your cock deserves a montage
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
