Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
