Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
