Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
