before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
