Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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