I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
