Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
