I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
