Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
