There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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