I cockslap morals
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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