How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
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