i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
