I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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