no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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