I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
