he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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