then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
