i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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