I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
