the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
