Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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