okay pat passed out under dana's car
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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