Me. At least after what I've been through.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
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