Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
