saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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