Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She bit a glass in half.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
