this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
