Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
