I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
