he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
