Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
