I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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