There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
