never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
