Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
