I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
