just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
