Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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