Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
