think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
