I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
