Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
