we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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