Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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