I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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