I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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