I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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