every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
