I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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