Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
