Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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