i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
