i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
