I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
