i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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