i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
